i feel..... nothing

without realising it, the heading of my last 2 post started with "i feel...."
keeping up the tradition, let this also start with "i feel..."
but this time, i feel.... nothing
nothing at all....
it happened before last year, but it was because of too many heartaches
that i came to a point that i didn't want to feel anymore....
soon, i really didn't feel anything anymore without wanting to not feel
that time, i feel slightly worried in the head because i thought it would be bad...
and yeap, my sis told me that it was bad because i was seriously being (unemotional)
but something, someone, somehow, made me feel again last year end...
but now, it happened again, just that this time, i feel even emptier
now, i think that i came to a point that i seriously don't want to feel ever again
because certain things are really too painful to take
i am just a 17 year old girl, i don't want to feel so much
i need to get out of this, but i don't think i can anymore
not alone